My breath in a dark room

There was one kid
-kid of unordinary prudence,
-One, whose hot-blood temper
could cold nothing but ignorance.

Everything could distract that kid
-was annoyed by a sun glow…
-was annoyed by wind.

He got some nails- and ran behind the hedge;
Sitting, staring, crying and thinking…
He found a way of dealing with his rage.

One nail for every day he blew…
Slowly… painfully…
Anger started to flew.

And I`m telling this, for you to know,
`cause I`m that kid.
And I saw it grow.

That hate and angriness,
coming with all I’ve done.
It gave me no calm, nor satisfaction…
None.

The first moment of my pruder hate,
so early came, but went on so late.

Now I’m looking back to once small child,
-I think she ran there every day to hide.
I see the tiny person; red hair blew by autumn wind…
I see her running through the garden
-why did she look weird?

I’m not going to that place now at all,
For what I’ve found
what every creature` s aiming for.
I could say I changed myself as a whole,
I’m not angry now,
And I’m that kid no more.

In simple solitude,
In place that’s empty, filthy and blue,
I’m listening to my breath…
…my breath in a dark room.

But could I rejoice now- really?
Could I live my life happily?
When I know my hate and guilt,
Left wounds in the hedge,
that never could be healed..?